rants

Oh my poor face T_T

Oh my poor, poor skin. T_T

My face totally got fried by the sun during our outing last Saturday. This is what I get for not wearing Hats during the summer season.

Don’t get me wrong. I am naturally dark. I’m a typical Filipino color of “kayumanggi” (or brown), so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

But my shade right now… it’s doesn’t look good. My neck is a different shade compared to my face now. And it’s annoying since I wear make-up to work. I’m pretty sure my foundation is not going to match again.

Argh. Time to bring out all of my mother’s glutathione products… at least until my neck’s skin tone matches my face again.

Ukulele Frustration: Ukulele Lady

I’m actually a little frustrated that I can’t play this properly on my ukulele, and that I wasn’t able to play it during my office’s Hawaiian party. T_T

I even planned to bang on a Paiste cymbal after the performance.

I can’t seem to play a D-flat7 (or a Db7) on my ukulele. It’s still a little hard chord for me to do, kind of like my frustration with the E chord. My fingers are not that long, and it’s not that strong either. I’m having some problems doing a “barre” (or basically, barring or pressing all the strings down all at once) while pressing down on other strings as well. My left fingers need some major strengthening exercises.

Or maybe my hands are just not that well equipped for a Concert sized ukulele. Maybe they’d fit better with a Soprano Ukulele? Problem is, the Soprano Ukulele I found a few months ago, costs around P3,000… a Tennessee Soprano ukulele I believe. Maybe I can buy it during my summer bonus?

Camera Distress T_T

The look on my face on this picture my sister took of me says it all….

Yeah. My S1800 Camera is broken. T_T

Apparently, the shutter in my camera is stuck closed… probably because I haven’t used it in a while. From what I’ve researched, it’s a common illness among Point and Shoot cameras like mine.

Although there are some ways to unstuck it (like tapping the camera, etc.), I’m afraid of causing further damage to it, so I’m leaving it alone for now. I’m going to look for a repair center for Fujifilm first. I advise anyone who has the same issue to take it to a service center rather than trying to unstick it yourself. A camera repair is going to cost a lot, but causing permanent damage on your camera from tapping it or banging it, will cost more. ~_~

But, in the meantime, no photography until I get this fixed. T_T

Of Dresses and Sewing Machines

All this Veil Poi-making obsession is making me want to get a Sewing machine…

But I probably think that that’s not all, maybe it’s the fact that I need to make my own cheap plus size dresses to fit me.

I just came from the mall today, and I was looking around for a nice dress (because, quite honestly, I’m getting a little older, and I probably need a make-over to a more grown-up look), but when I find the right kind of dress I want, it ends up being worth P1,000.00.

It’s seriously, seriously annoying. It’s like they’re saying that since I’m bigger, they’re going to charge me more for every frickin’ inch of cloth used in dresses. ~_~

Not to mention that it’s so unfair that people a lot bigger than me would opt to wear shorts or jeans, where as there are over a hundred stores for skinny-figured people, and they charge it at just half the price.

I have nothing against skinny people, and I know for a fact that I do need to exercise to lose some weight. But even if I exercise, I don’t think I’ll be as thin because I have big bones.

It kind of makes me sort of embarrassed for my full-figured sisters. Here we are, in the age where women can be pretty and feminine without society’s scorn, and yet we can’t seem to find the right dress to make us feel beautiful.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me being a cheapskate.

But I still want a sewing machine. XD

Another Regret

I am beginning to regret one of my decisions again.

I’m regretting the fact that I didn’t take a lab coats and enrolled up in the Medical Technology course in college, as my mother did.

A recent news about my father’s health made me realize that this is probably the biggest decision that I regret. I didn’t become a nurse, or a doctor, or even a Lab Technician… anything related to the medical field that could probably help my parents in the long run. Stupid of me. ~_~

But, I do realize that it’s too late to do that now. I’d have to make with what I have right now and help whatever I can. My sister, God bless her, is an awesome nurse… perhaps one of the best nurses that her hospital has. I am confident that she can help my parents better than I can.

I am not as confident as my sister is, though. What can a librarian do to help in a person’s health? Sometimes I even think that my work seems so insignificant that if I left or quit in my current job, everything would be just the same.

Haiz. Or perhaps I am thinking too negatively.

Now is not the time to be negative. I have to do what I can to help my parents, however little it may seem. Maybe as a librarian, I can do research and find out more about how to take care of my parents. Yes, perhaps that’s the thing I can do…

ZenkX’s 1st Public Bellydance… Sort Of

Remind me never to do this again.

Oh wait, I’d have to… on Friday. >_<

Yeah, I “belly danced” during my mother’s birthday program. They loved it. Hahaha!

It’s not really my thing to dance in public, especially belly dancing in front of people, even though they’re my relatives. But unfortunately, I’d have to belly dance for a lot of people on Friday. So I thought, “If I can’t dance like this in front of my relatives, how in the heck can I belly dance in front of total strangers?”

So yeah, this is me… belly dancing… even though my blouse looked like an electric blanket rather than a costume.

I don’t have an actual belly dance costume yet, mainly because it’s really hard to find a top for me. Go figure. I’d have to sew my own, which is what I’m doing right now. I just hope it’ll be done by Thursday and Friday >_<

I Suck At Volleyball

I really do.

In case you guys don’t know, I’ve been recently recruited into a volleyball team in my workplace. Which is a big surprise. ~_~

I played volleyball a long time ago in high school for my year level team, but I doubt it was added in my yearbook’s Graduation Photo Announcements, since I sucked at it. I can’t even serve properly… I’d end up hitting an outside hit, or the ball doesn’t even reach the net. >_<

Anyway, I heard that weight training helps with volleyball. Hopefully, all my gym effort works…

But… I think I might need to focus on my serving first. Anyone out there who wants to be my trainer? T_T

Guy Fawkes Mask!

Looks awesome doesn’t it? XD

This is actually a Guy Fawkes mask that I found on sale in our local bookstore, since Halloween is 2 months away. And it just cost me 75 pesos. Well, it’s not as well made as the masks made in “V for Vendetta” but hey, whatever works, right? XD

I’ve always wanted to have one of these masks. I even considered getting a document scanning software so I can scan a picture of this mask and then I’d just make my own… unfortunately I’m not that creative yet to make something like this. I still remember my “Kurei” (from the anime Flame Of Recca) mask was a disaster. It didn’t look half bad. It just looked bad on me. XD

Anyway, I just wanted this mask because of the movie “V for Vendetta”. The title character, V, wore a mask like this to hide his appearance. Although, I have read about Guy Fawkes.

Hmm… the mask looks good, but I think my costume does not. Why the heck did I wear a flowery shirt when I’m wearing a mask as awesome as this….? O_O

Yay for the wonders of plastic. XD

Support AThinLine.org, Stop Cyberbullying

This… was pretty much some part of my life in high school, except for the fact that FaceBook or networking sites were still non-existent then. We had to take insults like this right into our faces, and in my case, etched in the boy’s bathroom. ~_~

Still continuing on to the cyberbullying issue, I came across this video while I was looking to compare life insurance. It’s about A Thin Line.Org, which is a website and a program by MTV that deals with cyberbullying, sexting, and other abuses that occurs in schools nowadays.

It’s actually a really, really great program, that I wish would be implemented in schools, colleges and even workplaces here in the Philippines. Being the texting capital in Asia, cyberbullying is pretty much just as prevalent here as it is in the US.  Probably just as worse, since I see articles of suicides by teenagers in the newspapers.

It’s scary to think that us, the older generation, are letting these things happen. There are still no laws against all forms of bullying, and there are a lot of schools, particularly here in the Philippines, that do not have anti-bullying policies. Things like the ones happening in this video should never happen to anyone in real life. ~_~

Anyway, calling to politicians, mind you that we need laws against cyberbullying and other forms of abuse through digital means, because believe it or not, THIS *points to video* is happening here too. ~_~

Zenkx Against Cyberbullying

Man, the internet today is both an awesome and annoying thing, specially when it comes to things like bullying. ~_~

Just recently, I saw an episode of “If You Really Knew Me”, which addresses the modern concerns of High School students in the US, specially when it comes to “stereotyping”, where in students are seemingly grouped according to what the school society thinks them to be. They can be jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, outcasts, etc.

One of the thing that hit me during that show was about cyberbullying, or abusing someone’s well-being through digital means like texting, or through posts in FaceBook, MySpace or in their own personal blogs.

I find it really interesting and … disturbing, to think that these teenagers are practically ruining someone’s life by the words they say through the use of the InterNet and cellphones.

There was once a time when I was bullied in high school… way before texting was a fad. My friends were what they called nerds or outcasts, but I loved them, not because they are strange or anything, but because they were genuinely fun and really cool. My best friend, Joyce has been my friend since high school. And we had went through a lot of shit together from the bullies. We had chairs and books thrown at us. Joyce, particularly, being the smartest, was always pressured into doing someone else’s homework. She was called thin, and I was called weirdo. I had the biggest breasts in class, and they often picked at me because of it. Some went too far as to date me just to touch my breast for a bet.

I had… a bad time in high school, but it was Joyce, and my other friends, Beth, Juddee, Mary Jane, Joseph Ickx and Ericco who made me strong enough to not let a blade touch my wrist, because it would make them sad. When we were bullied, Beth would defend us, being a black belter in karate, and when we got so angry we would go out and hang at the mall, or sometimes in my house, where we would talk about things. It… made me really appreciate them and love them.

But now… it’s just scary. You don’t need physical contact just to be bullied by someone. Heck, you could be in the same school but not know each other until someone posts something awful about you.

I’ve heard about news of teenagers killing themselves because someone made an awful rumor about them… like them being gay, or fat, or weird, or being falsely accused of being something that they are not. As one who went through that ordeal and was able to not do it, I just wish that this kind of thing would stop happening. Life is too fun, and great and awesome, to be tainted by such false accusations. I wish kids who went through the same, and probably worse, scenario like mine would have the strength to stand up, and know that just because they called you something, doesn’t mean you have to be.

Watching all this… it is making me regret that I didn’t look into counselor careers or get a master degree in psychology. I just wish there was something I could do to make teenagers and people learn something about cyberbullying, and how it’s affecting people not just in schools, but even outside of it like in workplaces. ~_~