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In Loving Memory of Mafia, 2009-2012

And so after two days of being dizzy and unable to breathe due to colds, my grief finally came up to me a few moments ago.

My brother’s dog, Mafia – a cute, chubby, white Askal – was killed in the early hours of Friday, when a school bus hit her during her toilet run.

I was awake when they told me what had happened, but I was too dizzy with fever and unable to breathe due to my colds. I was unable to cry because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to breathe due to the colds that was already blocking my airways. I was upset, but I reined my grief in, and went back to bed to make sure I don’t fall over because I was very, very dizzy. But I could hear them outside my room. My brother’s family and my sister were crying.

I heard the discussions, and what I heard made me so sick and dizzy that all I could do was fall unconscious in my bed again. Mafia was run over a school bus, and my mother told one of our helpers to give the dog’s body to one of the pedicab drivers. My mother didn’t know that my brother was in our house at that moment. When my brother finally woke up and found out, he headed to the pedicab driver to take back the body, only to find that it had been chopped up and was about to be turned into a “pulutan”. Mafia’s head was no longer with the body, and all that remained was a plastic bag of some of her “meat”. I blacked out again when the crying started.

When I woke up again, my father was home, and he was telling me to pack some of my stuff so he can take me to their new place, where my mom could heal me. I was very dizzy, but I was able to ride the car and head to my parents’ place and lay down on their bed. My mother healed my fever with some menthol oil, but my colds continued. My dizzyness stopped soon after, and when I was strong and stable enough to walk again, I told my mom about Mafia. She was sad too, but she said that she had no idea that my brother was at our home in Antipolo, and she had no idea that he wanted the dog buried. I couldn’t talk anymore, so I just ate dinner and slept again.

This morning, it was the blessing of my parent’s place, as well as their new store. I helped around a bit, for as long as I wouldn’t get dizzy. I remembered that I have work tomorrow, so I decided to get back here at home.

As I stepped out my cousin’s car, the grief hit me.

I headed directly to our kitchen, where Mafia’s daughter, Chubbilita, was. When I saw her and realizing that the other dog who was supposed to greet me beside her was gone, I made my way to a corner, sat down, and cried hard. Chubbs came near me and laid her head in my lap and whined, like she was saying, “I’m crying for my mom, too.” I cried a lot, and she was whining on my lap, licking my hands and face. I cried for a few minutes there, before heading to the backyard where my brother had buried her. He put three stones on top of the spot, and I had the urge of putting a small figurine of a dog on it, even though I didn’t have one. I offered a small prayer, and went back inside.

But as I was typing this blog, I remembered something from the PAWS website about a Pet Memorial Wall. The Pet Memorial Wall is, obviously, a wall with plaques of pets that have touched the lives of their owners. For a fee of P2,000 (which will be considered as a donation and will be used for the shelter animals), the Center will create a plaque and add it to the wall. I was thinking of adding Mafia’s and my old German Shep, Roval’s name there, since they both touched the lives of our family. It would be great too, since the P2,000 would be a great help to other shelter dogs so that they can find a home and feel loved, like we loved Mafia and Roval.

I left my cellphone at my parent’s place (dang it), so I wasn’t able to text my sister and my brother’s family about this idea, but I’m hoping that they’ll like this idea. They might say that 2k is a pretty hefty price, but I’m sure that the 2k would be well worth it.

Anyway, there’s a pile of tissues here by my keyboard, and it’s full of snot and tears. Delayed grief sure hits hard. T_T

Support AThinLine.org, Stop Cyberbullying

This… was pretty much some part of my life in high school, except for the fact that FaceBook or networking sites were still non-existent then. We had to take insults like this right into our faces, and in my case, etched in the boy’s bathroom. ~_~

Still continuing on to the cyberbullying issue, I came across this video while I was looking to compare life insurance. It’s about A Thin Line.Org, which is a website and a program by MTV that deals with cyberbullying, sexting, and other abuses that occurs in schools nowadays.

It’s actually a really, really great program, that I wish would be implemented in schools, colleges and even workplaces here in the Philippines. Being the texting capital in Asia, cyberbullying is pretty much just as prevalent here as it is in the US.  Probably just as worse, since I see articles of suicides by teenagers in the newspapers.

It’s scary to think that us, the older generation, are letting these things happen. There are still no laws against all forms of bullying, and there are a lot of schools, particularly here in the Philippines, that do not have anti-bullying policies. Things like the ones happening in this video should never happen to anyone in real life. ~_~

Anyway, calling to politicians, mind you that we need laws against cyberbullying and other forms of abuse through digital means, because believe it or not, THIS *points to video* is happening here too. ~_~

Going Vegetarian?

I don’t know… is there like a term for this? When you eat vegetables and not meat but you still eat like… meat-based products like hotdogs and hams?

I think they call it “confused”. XD

Anyway, yep, I’m “sort-of” going vegetarian… “sort-of” because I still eat hotdogs and ham (like, processed meats… but I don’t eat burgers anymore) but not meat that are cooked in meals and stuff.

I blame my mother… harhar! Just kidding, I blame my weak constitution, actually. My mom recently showed me a short documentary called “From Farm To Fridge”, and boy, it made me want to eat vegetables for the rest of my life. Granted, I’m sure not all farms in America (or the Philippines, in that matter) are as brutal as these, but still…

The sounds of pigs and cows being slaughtered sounds like human screams to me… it makes me feel awful ~_~

Anyway, so far, the “sort of” vegetarian diet is working out for me. It’s definitely WAAAAY cheaper when lunch time comes, not to mention it’s actually healthier for me. But I’m going to need some exercise along with this diet to shed some pounds. XD

In the meantime, I’ll go grab me some carrot sticks. I kinda need a snack. ~_~

The Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami

Oh geeze, after looking at this footage, it really DOES feel like the world is coming to an end. T_T

Huwaaaa… kuwaii, kuwaii. T_T

An earthquake recently hit Japan, reaching a 8.9 on the Richter scale, followed immediately an hour later by this massive tsunami that wrecked down houses, cars and infrastructure…

So many people gone… over a thousand dead, from what I last heard in the news. It’s been a while since I’ve heard of this sort of catastrophe in Japan, but, damn, this is just so extreme. ~_~

But I guess it is unavoidable. Unlike the flood effects of Hurricane Ketsana (aka Ondoy) here in the Philippines, you can’t blame this sort of thing to the dams releasing water or the trash overflowing in the water systems. This is just plain nature’s fury, and the earth’s pechant for ever changing landscapes.

But still, this is really scary… I pray of all of the people in Japan (and any other country that is affected by the quake, and of the tsunami). T_T

Home Acne Remedies

Aw man… I’m breaking out again. Stupid incoming summer weather. ~_~

I’m going to need home acne remedies pretty soon.

I hate summer, I like the fact that’s its nice and warm and we can go to the beach to cool down, but the warm wind and dry dust is making me break out so many acnes it’s disturbing.

I’ve heard that there are home made remedies that include stuff like oatmeal, fruits, olive oil, and other ingredients that can make good facial scrubs, toners, and other facial care products. My problem is I don’t know how to make them. Harharhar.

Ahh, well… Time to go researching! XD

Pervert Frog

So, I was in Pangasinan for New Years, about to take my bath because I smelled of garlic and onions and barbeque smoke, when I came across little creature that looked like it had watched too much porn. O_o

Yep. That is a frog. Peeking from the sink. Watching me as I was about to take my bath. ~_~

As it turns out, the frog had several victims already, including my mom, my sister and several of my aunties. My mom said that the frog had been peeking at us for almost an hour.

It was actually kind of cute, actually, like one of those small, uhm… very wart-y, teddy bears. I would’ve taken a closer picture of it, but I was scared it might jump and land on me. ~_~

So I took my bath anyway, with this teeny, tiny frog watching me all the time. Luckily, it was a good frog, and stayed in that small hole during my bath. It left that night though, and I wasn’t able to take a picture of it again (too bad).

Redecorating…

Maybe I should think about redecorating my room. ~_~

It’s a little dull, actually. I think I need one of those Baldwin hardware doorknobs, and I want to paint my whole room violet. I want to paint it black, but I know my parents would never approve. XD

There’s a lot of things I want to improve about my room, but my decorating talents stinks. Hahaha! Most of my room furniture consists of wooden cabinets and tables, but then agian, they did do such a splendid job during the Ondoy flooding… everything pretty much floated.

As of right now, my room is plastered with tons of posters. Harharhar. Maybe I can make like an anime mural on my wall… that would be so cool. But pretty pricey, since I’d have to buy so much paint. ~_~

Roval And Me

I was watching “Marley And Me” a few moments ago, and it made me cry again. ~_~

Like serious-waterworks-from-the-eyes kind of crying.

Maybe because it’s because I miss my old German Shepherd, Roval, who died 4 years ago.

He was such an awesome dog, although he was quite a pain in the butt to walk, just like Marley. He would run, and chase cats and bark at other dogs that we were passing by. I mean, for those who ever owned like big dogs, you understand what I’m talking about. XD

But walking him, for me, was quite therapeutic. Sure, he was a dog, but whenever I sit down for a moment to rest and think things through, he was there sitting beside me. I’d talk about stuff, and even though I don’t know if he’d ever understand me, he was there looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes that made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

Anyway, I just miss having a dog again. My mom forbids it now, ever since Roval and one of our other dogs, Porkchop, died of diseases in an animal hospital.

I need a new pet. Maybe I should start thinking about keeping fish in my room. XD

Hair Loss!

Something might be wrong with me. ~_~

My hair keeps falling in clumps that I feel like I’m going to have to buy hair loss products soon.

I read from a research somewhere that some diseases can be diagnosed just by looking at your hair, or in my case, the loss of hair. But when I look at the fallen hair, it just looks like it’s broken near the follicle (the part that attaches the hair to the scalp). Maybe my hair has gotten brittle due to all the shampoo and the treatments that I’ve done in the past.

That’s IT! No more hair rebonds for me. I’m going to leave my hair to it’s curly/wavy state and save myself from the panic. ~_~

One Step At a Time

Or more like 15,000 steps. ~_~

Yep, I just bought a pedometer recently. It’s a neat little thing actually, so it was all tiny and it fit in my belt rather nicely. Although its kind of a hassle to set up because it gets pinched sometimes in my belt and it resets. ~_~

But it’s still good though. Especially nowadays when you don’t know what diet pills are safe to use to lose weight. The manual on my pedometer says that to lose weight, I need to take about 15,000 steps per day. Which is, admittedly, a tall order. I used it to count the steps I take walking down and up my office staircase only to find out that it’s only 250 steps. Sheesh. That would mean I’d have to walk up and down the stairs 60 times in a day. ~_~

Anyway, I have yet to measure how many steps I take walking around my subdivision’s playground, so hopefully I can use it there and walk for an hour. I just hope that I can walk all those steps in that time frame. XD