2012

In Loving Memory of Mafia, 2009-2012

And so after two days of being dizzy and unable to breathe due to colds, my grief finally came up to me a few moments ago.

My brother’s dog, Mafia – a cute, chubby, white Askal – was killed in the early hours of Friday, when a school bus hit her during her toilet run.

I was awake when they told me what had happened, but I was too dizzy with fever and unable to breathe due to my colds. I was unable to cry because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to breathe due to the colds that was already blocking my airways. I was upset, but I reined my grief in, and went back to bed to make sure I don’t fall over because I was very, very dizzy. But I could hear them outside my room. My brother’s family and my sister were crying.

I heard the discussions, and what I heard made me so sick and dizzy that all I could do was fall unconscious in my bed again. Mafia was run over a school bus, and my mother told one of our helpers to give the dog’s body to one of the pedicab drivers. My mother didn’t know that my brother was in our house at that moment. When my brother finally woke up and found out, he headed to the pedicab driver to take back the body, only to find that it had been chopped up and was about to be turned into a “pulutan”. Mafia’s head was no longer with the body, and all that remained was a plastic bag of some of her “meat”. I blacked out again when the crying started.

When I woke up again, my father was home, and he was telling me to pack some of my stuff so he can take me to their new place, where my mom could heal me. I was very dizzy, but I was able to ride the car and head to my parents’ place and lay down on their bed. My mother healed my fever with some menthol oil, but my colds continued. My dizzyness stopped soon after, and when I was strong and stable enough to walk again, I told my mom about Mafia. She was sad too, but she said that she had no idea that my brother was at our home in Antipolo, and she had no idea that he wanted the dog buried. I couldn’t talk anymore, so I just ate dinner and slept again.

This morning, it was the blessing of my parent’s place, as well as their new store. I helped around a bit, for as long as I wouldn’t get dizzy. I remembered that I have work tomorrow, so I decided to get back here at home.

As I stepped out my cousin’s car, the grief hit me.

I headed directly to our kitchen, where Mafia’s daughter, Chubbilita, was. When I saw her and realizing that the other dog who was supposed to greet me beside her was gone, I made my way to a corner, sat down, and cried hard. Chubbs came near me and laid her head in my lap and whined, like she was saying, “I’m crying for my mom, too.” I cried a lot, and she was whining on my lap, licking my hands and face. I cried for a few minutes there, before heading to the backyard where my brother had buried her. He put three stones on top of the spot, and I had the urge of putting a small figurine of a dog on it, even though I didn’t have one. I offered a small prayer, and went back inside.

But as I was typing this blog, I remembered something from the PAWS website about a Pet Memorial Wall. The Pet Memorial Wall is, obviously, a wall with plaques of pets that have touched the lives of their owners. For a fee of P2,000 (which will be considered as a donation and will be used for the shelter animals), the Center will create a plaque and add it to the wall. I was thinking of adding Mafia’s and my old German Shep, Roval’s name there, since they both touched the lives of our family. It would be great too, since the P2,000 would be a great help to other shelter dogs so that they can find a home and feel loved, like we loved Mafia and Roval.

I left my cellphone at my parent’s place (dang it), so I wasn’t able to text my sister and my brother’s family about this idea, but I’m hoping that they’ll like this idea. They might say that 2k is a pretty hefty price, but I’m sure that the 2k would be well worth it.

Anyway, there’s a pile of tissues here by my keyboard, and it’s full of snot and tears. Delayed grief sure hits hard. T_T

Zenkx… as a boy XD

Nah, just kidding!

This is actually a picture I found in the back of my closet, along an unopened plastic of adult diapers (from my mom was hospitalized for surgery, but she never used them) and well… my other personal items.

I swear, my closet is a forest. XD

Anyway, this is an old picture of me (circa 2007) when I had the “Sasuke Cut” (from Naruto). Actually… this was before the Naruto Fad started. I think I got the haircut from a member of My Chemical Romance. Yeah, I got it from the whole emo fad. ~_~

I found it while looking for old pictures of me with short hair. My hair is shoulder-length right now, trimmed once and a while, and it’s was getting really bothersome as I like the wind on my nape. I was thinking of a pixie cut, or something short with layers. I have a really round face, and it’s really hard to find a short cut for it. Not to mention it’s a little wavy when it grows back, since I’ve been rebonding it for three years now.

But now, I really HATE rebonding, and I really don’t want to do it anymore. I just want it to be low maintenance, but still pretty.

Oh man… somebody find me a decent hair stylist. ~_~